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INSALATA INCAZZATA








IO NON SONO CATTIVA...MI CI FANNO DIVENTARE!

Giravo per la rete e parlavo con Gina nel mentre che un senso di fastidio pungente continuava a pizzicarmi.
L'Insalata Incazzata nel senso aggressivo del termine è un fatto molto difficile da vedere. Si sforza, quasi sempre, di mantenere solido il rapporto di amicizia con Santa Pazienza, a cui si è devota da un bel po' di tempo onde evitare di trasformarsi in una kamikaze talebana omofoba.
Ma alle volte anche un'insalata si incazza e l'unica cosa che vorrebbe fare è prendere un bel bazooka e far saltare tutte le persone e cose che le danno un minimo fastidio. Un tempo la mia valvola di sfogo era giocare a Tekken 3 e finire il gioco in 10 minuti. Sceglievo sempre il cinese incazzato che picchiava tutti con mosse tattiche. Ora penso che abbandonerò l'idea zen dello yoga e opterò per il Kick boxing. Del sano, utile, duro, violento, aggressivo kick boxing. Se mi mettessero un intero album fotografico nel sacco, penso che sarebbe distrutto nell'arco di 3 secondi. Pugni e calci continui. Sì, diventerei una donna armadio, ma sarei mooolto più rilassata.
Se c'è una cosa che non sopporto è l'indolenza. L'abulìa continua e perenne mi snerva. Ci sono delle volte in cui il dubbio serve a prendere una decisione più ponderata, ma quando l'indecisione diventa perenne , allora mi verrebbe solo voglia di prendere a schiaffi e provocare anche una minima reazione.
"Ne ho ben donde di siffatte ciuffole!" ovvero, Ne ho piene le palle! Di cosa??
Beh innanzitutto dell'insoddisfazione e frustrazione generale delle persone. Sono sempre tutti stressati e tutti si lamentano, si agitano e si autocommiserano e così facendo mi fanno montare l'ansia passo dopo passo e in questo modo non solo mi vengono afte, coliti e gastriti ma anche l'elefantiasi!
Io capisco che la vita quotidiana sia una gran pesantezza, perchè ci sono i doveri, i pesi , le noie ;etc etc, ma possibile che ultimamente ovunque mi giro non esista una persona sulla faccia della terra che alla domanda:"Ciao come stai?" mi risponda "Bene, grazie, sono serena e contenta!". Non dico FELICE, perchè è 1 parola mooolto grossa, ma almeno SONO TRANQUILLA. No, quando nell'aria si intravede un minimo di entusiasmo fanno a gara per chi lo uccide prima.
Che poi mi ci metto anch'io dentro questo calderone, ma ogni tanto mi viene la voglia di reagire , rispondere STICAZZI o VAFFANCULO e sorridere. Ci sono tragedie che inevitabilmente ti distruggono, ma non è possibile che ogni giorno a tutti sia morto il gatto! E c'è quello che ha mal di mignolo; quello che non vorrebbe lavorare ma vivere grattandosi per cui la vita è 1 schifo; quello che nessuno gliela/lo da per cui tutti gli uomini/donne fanno schifo; quello che sembra che abbia sempre il pepe nel sedere e se non fai tutto di fretta e furia il mondo potrebbe cadere da un momento all'altro. E poi, caso strano, la maggior parte di queste vittime del mondo sono uomini. Lungi da me fare discorsi femministi incalliti da zitella repressa, ma sto seriamente pensando che l'evoluzione della specie abbia comportato un'inversione di palle, scusate il francesismo! Forse c'è stata una strage di castrazione e non me ne sono accorta, ma tutti gli esseri umani di sesso maschile con cui dialogo, mi confronto, mi relaziono o anche solo scambio poche e semplici frasi, sembra si siano stufati di possedere il peso della loro virilità e iniziano a frignare.
E io temo alquanto questo mio prurito psicologico, perchè nel caso dovesse rompersi il Vaso di Insalata, tutti i mali verrebbero a galla e da calma , pacifica, tranquilla, sensibile, docile, affettuosa, dolce, comprensiva, generosa,altruista infermierina , crocerossina, psicologa donnina potrei diventare un'arpia stronza, malefica, egoista e spietata. E già mi immagino trasformata da colorata insalatina a un mix tra Xena e Crudelia Demòn. Non sarebbe una bella immagine, no no...per cui se iniziate a vedere la mia pelle assumere un colorito verde acido iniziate a scappare..Uomo avvisato, mezzo salvato!

83 commenti:

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Cara Marge Simpson col bazuca Santa Pazienza è forse un'amica più cara di me e ti consiglio di non eliminarla dalla tua cerchia.
Dagli tempo ma soprattutto dai del tempo a te stessa.
Quantomeno quello necessario a capire se poi è quella la strada che vuoi realmente percorrere.
Io nel frattempo ho capito di vivere in una conchiglia, un modo originale per definire la mia dimensione interiore.
Chiusa, isolata e piena di un rumore che in realtà è soltanto poesia.
E al di fuori di essa, come dice Jovanotti "l'unico pericolo che sento veramente è quello di non riuscire più a sentire niente".

MaBe ha detto...

ehi Insalatina! Oggi ti sei condita con aceto e limone! :)
Comunque io oggi sto bene, grazie! Sono anche discretamente contenta... E mi succede sempre quando leggo i tuoi post! Hai un dono: mettere il buonumore anche quando sei un'insalatina incazzata!
Comunque ti capisco benissimo: a volte quello che ci serve non è avere intorno gente che si commisera continuamente e per stupidaggini.. E la vocina che è in te inizia ad urlare un vaffanciufoli a decibel che solo un cane può udire (ed è dimostrato perché il mio Diego lo capisce sempre quando il mio IO sbraita dentro me...).
Mi spiace.. non ho soluzioni da suggerirti per questi casi.. Ma posso dirti cosa faccio io..
CIOCCOLATA per risollevare l'umore.. e se non funziona.. aspetto semplicemente che la giornata passi. E per citare Cremonini: domani sarà un giorno migliore, vedrai..

Comunque devo venire a Roma una volta o l'altra.. mi piacerebbe conoscere te e la mitica Gina!!
(sempre la storia della posta... io LA sto ancora aspettando..!!!)

BACI INSALATA!

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concordo con Gina chicchina, dai tempo soprattutto a te stessa...purtroppo siamo tutti frignoni piagnoni e perennemente frustrati. Ci sono giorni che quando mi chiedono come sto dico 'eh così'...però giuro, non lo faccio tanto per frustrazione...ho paura che se dico che va tutto bene mi piombino sul coppino sfighe a più non posso!!!!

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ne parlavo proprio qualche giorno fa con un'amica. sono giunto alla conclusione che l'insoddisfazione generale deve avere una causa comune. cioè noi stessi. e da noi mica si scappa.

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Anche io sono sempre stata un po' indolente a queste lagne continue!
Certo, i problemini ci sono per tutti ogni giorno ma finchè sono sciocchezze bisogna lamentarsi meno e sorridere un po' di più ^_^
Piano piano si risolve tutto.La Vita è bella!
...anche perchè poi a volte ti arrivano di colpo i macigni veri.E quelli poi come li affrontano???
Sono ca**i! Ed in questo periodo ne so qualcosa!
...Ma chi si arrende??? Io no.
:D

Ciao cara e non t'incavolare che fa male e escono le rughe!eheheh

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io semplicemento volto le spalle alle persone che si lamentano sempre e comunque.
ufff...mi stressano.
todo bien a roma...milano?
eh? e saluta leopoldo!

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Когда рассказ был закончен, я пошла к дизайнеру, который оформил мне небольшую книжечку… а потом я отдала ее своему любимому, и ушла. У меня словно выросли крылья! Я освободилась от самой себя, от своих разбитых иллюзий…

Чуть позже я снова нашла хорошую работу (я занимаюсь журналистикой), уменя появились друзья, теперь все налаживается в моей жизни.

После этого, мне захотелось собрать несколько таких историй, и создать книгу, которая поможет разобраться в себе многим людям. Если есть желающие попробовать , выйти из ТУПИКА моим способом, то просьба прислать мне написанное вами. Я смогу отредактировать, или взять в основу таких повестей ваши истории. Надеюсь Вам это поможет так же как и мне.

e-mail: krasivaya2004@mail.ru

P.S. Всем желающим, могу выслать свою историю.
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